Your tits are I can't wait for
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
