pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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