I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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