my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
