Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
