We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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