Welp...herpes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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