she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
