How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
