Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
