Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
