dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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