I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
