Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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