return my video game
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
