I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
