Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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