I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
