do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize