Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I want to be your penis for a week.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
