Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
