She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
