I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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