my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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