I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
