dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
