i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
