where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
