Already got asked if we're dating
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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