I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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