and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
