im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
