please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
