No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
