Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
