dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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