how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
