if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
birth control should be required to get into college
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
