hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
