They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
