I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
