Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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