just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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