We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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