im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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