Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why didn't you poke me back
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
