But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize