there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
