My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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