drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
