It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
