you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize