i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
