I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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