I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
only you would photoshop your dick
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
