he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
