To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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