AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
