I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
