she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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