It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.