I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.