i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.