I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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