How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
