My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dignity is for republicans.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
